Prime Time Geek

Wonder Woman – Blu-Ray
2009 – Warner Premiere (Warner Bros.)
Released on March 3, 2009

Film: Lousy
Video: Decent
Sound: Decent

All you hardcore Wonder Woman fans out there who might read this, make no mistake: I WANTED to like this movie. I’m as big a male fan of Themyscira’s most well-known Amazon princess as any I know. I read Wonder Woman monthly (a task made much easier now that the book is in the hands of a strong writer, namely Gail Simone), I watch the movie news for any glimmer of hope about a live-action Wonder Woman feature, and whenever she makes an appearance in an animated feature or show, I cross my fingers and pray the writers get Diana right. Watching old Challenge of the Super Friends episodes makes me cringe. The first season of Cartoon Network’s Justice League took a while to do right by Diana, but by the time Season 2 and Justice League Unlimited came along, producer Bruce Timm, voice director Andrea Romano, and voice actor Susan Eisenberg were all on the same page and getting it right.

What do I mean by “getting it right,” you ask? Diana’s regal bearing, tempered by compassion for women and men, her limitless courage, her wisdom, a gift from the Greek goddess Athena, her devotion to Truth and desire to share with the world of Men the lessons of peace kept for centuries by her people, and her unmatched prowess as a warrior paired with the physical strength and speed to rival even that of Kal-El of Krypton or the Wizard Shazam’s champion, the World’s Mightiest Mortal, Captain Marvel–all these things are parts of the complex character that is Diana of Themyscira. To represent all of those facets of Wonder Woman on screen is no small feat, of course. But if you hope to tell a Wonder Woman tale that will satisfy her most ardent fans while also introducing those that only know her from Super Friends or the Lynda Carter TV series to a compelling character that’s far more than just bullet-deflecting bracelets, armor-plated bustier and a star-spangled leotard, then you must at least touch briefly on all those facets. To do less is to do a disservice to a character who has been throughout her history misunderstood and, let’s face it, pushed to the side in terms of primacy within the minds of the masses when it comes to her place among DC’s “big three.”

It makes me quite sad to say to Warner Premiere’s new direct-to-video release, Wonder Woman, despite the teaming of Bruce Timm, Andrea Romano, a stellar cast of voice actors, and the aforementioned Gail Simone, who received a story credit, does such a stunning disservice to the character of Diana that by the end you’re left stupified. Stupified and angry.

The story is certainly familiar–the Amazons, led by their wise warrior queen Hippolyta (voiced by Virginia Madsen), have their peaceful and hidden existence disturbed by the crash landing of American pilot Steve Trevor (voiced by Nathan Fillion). After Trevor is determined to be a non-threat to Themyscira’s security, Hippolyta decrees he must be returned to Man’s World, and that the one to return him there will be chosen by a contest, as per ancient custom. Hippolyta’s daughter, Diana (voiced by Keri Russell), participates in the contest against her mother’s wishes, disguised throughout the proceedings, and wins the right to represent the Amazons to the outside world. This version of the story however, features a new complication to Diana’s mission: she must also find and defeat Ares (voiced by Alfred Molina), the Greek god of war, who Hippolyta had defeated centuries before and the Olympians Zeus and Hera had punished for his bloodlust by leaving as Hippolyta’s prisoner on the island. Ares escapes into Man’s World at the same time that Diana wins the contest, and so her journey transforms into an epic battle to save the world from Ares, who feeds upon man’s hatred and penchant for violence and who would bring about all of mankind slaughtering one another in order to gain enough power to conquer the Olympians themselves. Sounds good so far, right?

As I said earlier, the voice talent here does its best with the material they’re given. Unfortunately, the script is uneven, inconsistent, and at times just plain silly. The battle that opens the movie, between the Amazons and Ares’ hordes, with Hippolyta and Ares’ confrontation at its center, is an example of the best the film has to offer in terms of dialogue, as the two warriors quip back and forth between sword swings and shield charges. But what else but “inconsistent” can you call the Amazons not being familiar with the word “crap”, yet Diana calling Trevor a “lightweight” after he tries to get her liquored up on tequila shots once they’re back in Man’s World? (No, I’m not kidding.) And if the immediate aftermath of the film’s climactic battle doesn’t have you groaning and booing, then you must have Cheese Whiz flowing through your veins. And this is just me and my personal issue, but screenwriters, if you’re going to use the Invisible Jet, can you please explain its existence in the context of the story? It’s bad enough that they don’t allow Diana to fly in this film, because YES, Diana CAN fly on her own power, but the Amazons have been cut off from the world of Men since antiquity, only ONE of the women on the island seems to care at all for reading or studious pursuits, so no one’s developing technology, but Diana gets to return ol’ Steve to the U.S.A. in an Invisible Jet that would make G.I. Joe envious. Yes, in the comics, the Amazons have technology, but it’s EXPLAINED. Here, well, best to just not even bring it up, right? Like, Trevor wouldn’t even ASK them, “Say, you’ve been cut off from the world for how long, but you’ve got a rig like this?” Please.

But the heart of the problem is the characterization of Diana herself. There’s nothing charismatic or inspiring about this Diana–here she’s written as simply a woman-child who disobeyed her mother’s orders in order to prove she’s worthy of being treated like a grown-up. As a warrior, she’s given few opportunities to shine throughout the film–in fact, in both of her major battles, she requires rescuing both times. Yes, I understand, this is meant to be a portrayal of Diana at the beginning of her career as Wonder Woman, but there isn’t enough in her characterization here to suggest that any other Amazon on Themyscira would not do just as well in the “Wonder Woman” role as Hippolyta’s daughter would, aside from the contest, which is covered in montage and completed in about 5 minutes of screen time.

Technically speaking, the presentation of the film on blu-ray is on par with the other Warner Premiere releases, Superman: Doomsday, Batman Gotham Knight, and Justice League: The New Frontier. Colors are bold and vibrant, detail is crystal clear, as you would expect from a next-gen release. In terms of audio, the disc features both Dolby Surround and Dolby TrueHD tracks, and the TrueHD track is noticeably louder and more active in its use of speakers. During the two large-scale battle sequences, the sound COULD have been more immersive, but again, it’s on par with what Warner Premiere has provided in the past. Overall, its not a bad cinematic experience at all in terms of audio and video quality, and there’s far worse out there in terms of live action catalog releases on blu-ray.

What really surprised me about this debacle was Gail Simone’s involvement. In fact, as I was watching the credits roll I even thought to myself, “Ya know, Simone could have provided SUCH a better story than this!” And then I saw her name credited along with Michael Jelenic for the story. Jelenic received credit for the screenwriting duties, and this explains a lot, as Jelenic was a past writer on the “Legion of Super Heroes” series and is currently the producer of Cartoon Network’s “Batman: The Brave and the Bold” series, both of which present versions of iconic characters that are simplified to their most recognizable and marketable elements. I have to wonder just how much of the story that made it into the film’s final cut came from Simone versus what Jelenic brought to the table.

Green Lantern fans, be afraid. Be VERY afraid, because next up for Warner Premiere’s line of DC Animated features: Green Lantern: First Flight.